Hospitality is a word that is often mentioned in Christian circles. It is a subject studied in Bible Studies and is preached from our pulpits. Many books on Christian living will have a chapter devoted to it. With all of this emphasis you would think we would be great at hospitality, that there wouldn’t even be a need for this as a subject in Faith in Focus, and yet that is not the case. Why? Because many of us struggle with being hospitable for a variety of reasons, such as feeling under-prepared or worrying about the state of our homes. I will address some of these issues later in the article.
I have been blessed with very good examples of hospitality from my mother and my grandmother. I am mentioning the women as they were both solo parents for 10 and 16 years respectively and the task mainly fell on them. My mother told how my grandmother, when living in Geelong, would invite single theological students over on the Sunday. They had very little money but the guests always received a great meal and the family ate meager rations for the rest of the week.
As I was growing up it was a normal Saturday event to make sure the lawns were mowed, the washing and housecleaning done and the food prepared so that we could have guests on Sunday. This was self imposed but a strong sense of rest on the Sabbath was ingrained in my family. My mother and stepfather continued to show hospitality right up to the week they both went into care.
“God’s two greatest commandments are to love God and love others. To love everyone equally is a true sign of our love for God and our desire to live Christ-like. Hospitality is known as entertaining and welcoming in guests or visitors. It is a genuine way to show love for others! Jesus tells us in Matthew 25:40 that whatever we do for the least of people, we do for him.”1
When I think of how we as a church can show hospitality there are two areas in which we can do this. One is in the way we meet and greet visitors both before and after church. The other is the one we mostly associate with the word hospitality and that is having people in our homes.
How do we do when visitors come to our church? Are we good at talking to new people? The answer is often a resounding no. Most churches have a few people whom everyone considers the outgoing friendly ones and we are inclined to leave it to them. That leaves them with the greater burden when it could easily be shared. And if those people happen to be absent one Sunday, who is going to welcome the visitors?
How good are we at interacting with those we don’t know in our churches? When our children were in our home we asked them to speak to someone outside their age group at church every Sunday. We would ask them to identify that person and what they had learned when they got home. Now all of our adult children are good at speaking to different age groups. We made sure we did the same. Wouldn’t it be great if every family in the church did this and if we as adults spoke to someone we didn’t know well. The church would be a much friendlier place. If you don’t feel secure doing that, grab a friend and talk to people together. That can make the conversation flow more easily.
We should show hospitality in our homes
Below are some of the reasons and or excuses we use for not showing hospitality, and some possible solutions or attitude changes that could take place.
1. I haven’t got anything ready for guests: In our homes most people have microwaves and freezers. It is possible and maybe even necessary to keep a couple of extra loaves of bread in the freezer. Frozen sausage rolls, pizza bases, wraps, sliced ham and sausages can all be stored there. Stocking up on a few packets of biscuits, cakes, or slices, not to mention nuts and chips are all good standbys. What all of this is doing is making sure we are prepared for a quick meal when having guests. Then we can easily invite people at short notice.
2. The people have food allergies and I don’t know what to do about it: As someone with food allergies myself I am very conscious of this and always ask guests beforehand if they have any food intolerances. It never ceases to amaze me how many do. We all probably know the gluten, dairy, egg and nut allergies, but I have also met people who are allergic to strawberries, tomatoes, sunflower oil, soy, sugar, onions and pork, to name just a few. So what do you do?
My favourite go-to is having wraps or bread. I always have ‘normal’ wraps/bread, and gluten free ones on hand. I have gluten free cut meat in the freezer. You can have boiled eggs, canned beetroot and pineapple, lettuce, tomatoes and carrots etc. I serve them in separate bowls, and people can eat what they want. Put the sauces on the table. People will know if they can use them. The same is true for dinner. Cook potatoes or rice. Most meats are okay as long as you don’t marinate them with the wrong ingredients. Gluten free sausages are readily available. Cooked chicken is a safe meat to use for virtually everyone. And if your visitor is a vegan they can still have the vegetables, wraps, potatoes and/or rice. The supermarkets also have plenty of biscuits that cover most food intolerances. Most of us with allergies will bring something along to tide us over, but showing that level of love is very much appreciated. It is just lovely that someone will open their home to us.
If you know the person you are having over has coeliac disease (which is an autoimmune disease), any cross contamination with gluten products will cause them to become ill. This can seem daunting. Give all your chopping boards an extra good clean and put baking paper down on top of them before chopping the vegetables or cutting bread etc, then no crumbs will go onto your gluten free foods. Do not put any allergy friendly foods on the same plate as other foods that contain gluten. It is not difficult, but it does require a level of awareness that you may not be familiar with.
3. I have my family around every Sunday: I remember years ago talking to a couple who mentioned the obligatory visit to the parents every Sunday when they lived in the Netherlands and they felt that it was a real bind. Yet I know families in our churches doing the very same thing. Though I understand families wanting to get together, (we love our family times), why must it always be every Sunday. Why not keep a Sunday for people who are not your family or not your friends? Or why not bring other people into your family group. Leaving all those without family connections out of our homes is not showing love.
4. My house is a mess and I haven’t cleaned it: As someone who has been in a lot of homes believe me when I say my first interest when I come into your home is not the state of the carpets or how tidy it is. It is the fact that you were willing to have us in. John and I have been in the homes of people who are hoarders and untidy, whose homes have a different cleanliness standard and those whose homes could grace a House and Gardens Magazine. Yet when we leave it is the friendliness of the people and the conversations we have with them that we discuss. Once you sit down and engage in conversation that becomes the lasting impression. A certain level of untidiness can actually make people feel more relaxed.
5. My home isn’t big enough: If your visitors can find a chair or a bit of floor to sit on then your home is adequate. I would encourage you to avoid comparisons with other people. That can hinder your ability to be hospitable.
6. I’m too tired to have people over: I am sure most of us have that, probably more often that we would like. Hospitality doesn’t just have to occur on a Sunday. Can you find a suitable time in your busy lives to have a person or couple over? Some people we know even do breakfast. A morning or afternoon tea is a reasonably stress free way to have guests. If you are a working couple, how about using your Saturday or a week night?
7. I’m no good at conversation and I don’t know what we will talk about, as mentioned in the first point: My question in response is, “Who are you more concerned about, yourself or other people”? The Bible has a lot to say about loving other people. Love others like we love ourselves. If that is the case then we should be willing to put ourselves out for other people so that they will feel well taken care of, because at the end of the day that is how we would like to be treated. If you’re interacting with people well on a Sunday it will make this conversation far easier.
If you really struggle why not get two couples or families over to encourage conversation. As a couple we encouraged our children when they were young to ask questions beginning with the 5W’s and 1H word: Who, what, when, where, why and how. If you struggle with conversation these are the words that can help you.
There are no end of subjects to talk about; hobbies, work, families, history, spiritual journey, the economy, sports, weekend recreation, holidays, the Sunday sermon and our churches to name a few.
Love Each Other: If you have ever watched a cooking or baking show they will often talk about the magic ingredient when cooking, which is love. Sounds kind of weird doesn’t it. Yet I have realized they were on to something because it is better to eat very simple fare served with love in an untidy home, than to have a five course meal served grudgingly in a beautiful house. “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace”.2
So to summarise, be prepared, look out for the needs of others, love people and care about them, and you will be surprised how much you are blessed in the process. And do it all because you love God and want to serve him and follow what he has asked you to do.
1 https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/hospitality-bible-verses/
2 1 Peter 4:9-10 ESV
Harriet Haverland – a member of the Pukekohe Reformed Church
Image by Pexels
