A young man, who has been attending your church, confesses to your pastor that he believes he is actually a woman and wants to know what the Bible teaches about gender. This is an issue the church is facing all over the world, but now here in New Zealand expressing our beliefs on these issues could come with consequences. Let’s be honest, we get tired of being called transphobic or bigots. Surely, our constant fighting against it isn’t helping the world either. Perhaps our churches should be a little less open on where we stand on gender and sexuality. And if we do share what the Bible teaches is there a way to share the truth that at least mitigates our chances of being prosecuted? Most importantly, what does the Bible say about us speaking truth in a culture that only wants to stop us from speaking?
Biblical precedence
In Acts 14, Paul and Barnabas are out boldly sharing the word of God in Iconium. Jews and Gentiles are coming to faith. It’s a great success! But there are some Jews there who don’t appreciate what they are saying and come up with a plan along with some Gentiles to kill them. Paul and Barnabas discover the plot and flee to the cities of Lystra and Derbe where they continue to preach the Gospel. Now, being stoned to death admittedly is quite a bit more worrisome than getting put in jail, but the larger question is to what extent Christians should work to avoid persecution. Do we embrace persecution or are we allowed to fight for our rights in court? Although there is no easy answer, Calvin in his commentary on Acts says this:
This is the right kind of fear, when the servants of Christ do not run willingly into the hands of their enemies, of them to be murdered , and yet they do not abandon their duty; neither does fear hinder them from obeying God when he calls; and so, consequently they can afford, if need be, to go even through death itself to do their duty.1
As Kevin DeYoung summarizes Calvin, “…we ought to pursue the course of action we think will best serve the cause of the gospel.”2 Our motivating force, then, for how we respond in the face of these new laws should be responding in a way that showcases God’s glory and points the way to the Gospel. When Paul and Barnabas fled it wasn’t that they were scared of dying (getting a fine or going to prison), they were mostly concerned that they would be able to preach the gospel. Like Peter in the face of opposition proclaimed, “Which is right in God’s eyes: to listen to you, or to him? You be the judges! As for us, we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.” (Acts 4:19-20)
How shall we speak?
Since we are to showcase the Gospel, how do we do that in a culture that hates the message we bring? We have determined that we need to stay and speak “boldly for the Lord”, but how we do it wisely? Solomon says in Proverbs 16:21, “The wise of heart is called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.” We can all get in the way of preaching the Gospel by speaking in pride, being obnoxious, or with no self-control. Or we can fall into the trap of thinking we are showing love by remaining silent or not wanting to cause offense at the gospel.
Biblical winsomeness or sweetness of speech first off is speech. We need to be talking and sharing the gospel with our neighbours. Sweetness of speech is not holding back the truth out of fear of offending our neighbour.3 We are commanded to speak the truth in love. (Eph 4:15) As followers of a God who is “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6) our lives must always be marked by a devotion to truth. What Solomon is pointing out in Proverbs is that how we speak the truth matters as well. Our speech like the entirety of our Spirit- infused lives is to be modelled after the fruits of the spirit. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control”(Gal 5:22-23)
When we are approaching our neighbour in a spirit of humility and love, not coming at them armed and ready for a fight, how much more readily will they be willing to hear us. Our world is full of noise. Everyone clamouring to state their opinion, to shout and rant on social media about all the injustices they perceive. Christians can stand in the beauty of the Gospel, sharing its truth in gentleness and self-control.
Notice, though, that Solomon says that “sweetness of speech” only “increases persuasiveness.” Our speech might be well flavoured by the fruits of the spirit, you might be speaking the truth in love, but your gay neighbour still hates you. You want to be winsome and wise, but you had to take that stand on using preferred pronouns, refuse to attend the wedding of the transgender workmate, or tell the Biblical truth when asked your opinion on gender and sexuality. The Bible never guarantees that the results of our speech will result in our persuading someone of the truth. Biblical winsomeness is always wise, but the results belong to the Lord. The Bible is pretty clear too, that we should expect opposition. “Remember the word that I said to you. ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you.” (John 16:20a) Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ will be persecuted. (2 Timothy 3:12) If we are devoted to sharing the gospel, desiring to love our neighbour well with the truth, the world will hate us. But here is the thing, the Bible never says that we should be working to make the world like us or even find us tolerable. The Bible’s command is rather clear what our response should be, “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you make be sons of your Father who is in heaven.”( Matthew 5:44-45a)
Practical application
So God has given us a job now. Our job is to love that neighbour who doesn’t understand how a good Christian could attend “that” church. Our job is to love our co-worker Steve who comes to work the next day asking that you call him “ Sarah.” Our job is to love our daughter who comes to us telling us that she has fallen in love with another woman. But what does this love look like? In her book, Five Lies of Our Anti-Christian Age, Rosaria Butterfield argues that we need to understand the difference between acceptance and approval. “Acceptance means living in reality and not fantasy… Acceptance is an important step in seeing the person you love in the sin pattern in which he is trapped.”4 In other words, acceptance is understanding that co-worker Steve really believes that he is a woman. While we must acknowledge the lie that Steve is trapped in, Butterfield says:
We can’t let our acceptance become approval. “In accepting where someone is, you seek for them God’s rescue and help. Approval of sin, on the other hand declares, ‘They have healed the wound of my people lightly, saying, ”peace, peace,” when there is no peace. Were they ashamed when they committed abomination? No, they were not at all ashamed. (Jer. 8:11-12)5
Our acceptance of our neighbour’s position allows us to come to the situation in honesty, in other words it allows us to speak the truth in love. Butterfield clarifies it this way, “Acceptance means dealing protectively and gently with the person who is lost… acceptance involves listening, caring for, praying, and sharing God’s word.”6
Laura Perry in her book Transgender to Transformed describes how true acceptance, acceptance bathed in truth and love, helped bring her back from the lies. Laura as a young woman became convinced that she should be a man, and despite her family’s objections began hormone treatment and eventually had her ovaries removed and top surgery. Laura’s mother, however, kept praying for Laura and pursued her with the truth. Perry writes,
I demanded that my family call me “Jake” and use pronouns matching my chosen gender. It used to infuriate me that my mom never would. I was so angry I wouldn’t talk to her for months. And yet, it was like a tether to reality for me. Because she kept calling me “Laura,” it reminded me of who I was. It was as if God refused to let me go no matter how hard I tried to let go of myself. Though it likely will not be received that way, remember it is actually loving to speak the truth; it is loving to affirm who God made your child to be.7
Our love for our neighbours in the face of all their hate, raging, and even the possible reality of punishment, must be a love that is marked by truth. Our expression of that love is guided by the Holy Spirit with words that are patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and controlled. Most of all, loving our neighbour is best shown in pointing at the Gospel, not at ourselves or them saying, “And such were some of you(us). But you (we) were washed, you (we) were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” 1 Cor 6:11)
Our love for our neighbour shouldn’t stop with merely our words. Our love for our neighbour extends to our prayers as well. Pray for your trans co-worker, pray for your child who has left the church because “love is love,” and pray fervently that God would change the hearts of our leaders. We can’t change the hearts of those around us or those who rule over us, but God can. Pray for our church and our leaders that we would remain faithful to His Word, the truth. Pray for yourself. As we look into the future and what lies in store, our hearts can become fearful. We worry about the consequences of speaking the truth and we worry if we have the ability to stand fast in the face of that persecution. Pray that instead of looking at yourself, that God will keep you laser focused on Christ, that Christ’s glory would be your great comfort. We can look around in despair, but Christ’s promises are sure. God warned us that we would be called to times such as these, but we also have His promises of hope. “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) and “ Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets.” (Luke 6:23) Hold firm to the truth; heaven is just around the corner.
1 John Calvin, Calvin’s Commentaries, vol. 19 (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House, 1993), 7.
2 Kevin Deyoung, “When to Stay and When to Run,” The Gospel Coalition, August 8, 2013, https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/kevin-deyoung/when-to-stay-and-when-to-run/.
3 Mitch Chase, “Sweetness of Speech,” Substack newsletter, Biblical Theology (blog), August 22, 2023, https://mitchchase.substack.com/p/sweetness-of-speech.
4 Rosaria Champagne Butterfield, Five Lies of Our Anti-Christian Age (Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway, 2023), 293.
5 Butterfield, 294.
6 Butterfield, 296.
7 Perry, Laura. Transgender to Transformed: A Story of Transition That Will Truly Set You Free (p. 183). Genesis Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
Audra Warner is a member of the Palmerston North Reformed Church.
